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Ben Nadel at the jQuery Conference 2010 (Boston, MA) with: Rachel Makrucki
Ben Nadel at the jQuery Conference 2010 (Boston, MA) with: Rachel Makrucki ( @m_rookie )

Ode To ColdFusion On Valentine's Day

Published in Comments (58)

Today, on Valentine's Day, I wanted to take a moment and share my love for the ColdFusion programming language.


As a man, I'm quite aware
Of just how rude it is to stare,
But with your tags and angled brackets —
Your robust code and taunting tactics —
I find that I cannot control
The thoughts of you that haunt my soul.
And as the days lead into night
I keep you fixed within my sight,
Not even sleep can sate this hunger
Where byte-code falls like dreamy thunder.
At first I thought it was my choice,
ColdFusion - my heuristic voice,
But over time, I've been demeaned
To bow before my zoftig Queen.
And now I slave to fill her buffer
In hopes to show just how I love her,
With many lines of homage paid,
So I can say, "ColdFusion-made!"
I do all this to make her proud -
To raise her up above the crowd
And build for her an awesome shrine,
My love, my Queen — My Valentine.

I hope you all have a wonderful, love-filled Valentine's Day!

Reader Comments



Thanks - it was fun to write; never written a poem about a programming language before.


I'd be hard-pressed to argue with that :)


Ha, awesome. Good one for a first try.... too bad I would have to change so many words for it to work as a Valentines poem for my wife...

Thanks Ben!



You can't go wrong with a good steak!


I'll help you out next year ;)


That's how I filled my Humanities requirements in college - Creative Writing Fiction and Creative Writing Poetry.


Almost fell out my chair laughing!

faves: "Where byte-code falls like dreamy thunder", and "But over time, I've been demeaned... To bow before my zoftig Queen."

I'll never look at CF the same way again! Love it man!



Heck, I was just happy to use the word zoftig for the first time; I've heard it before, but never put it into action. I just love the way it sounds.


Ha ha, glad you enjoyed.


I was thinking about changing the "ColdFusion" with my girlfriend's name but I think she is not going to like the "But with your tags and angled brackets" part



I'm so happy to see someone else use "awesome sauce". I use that a lot in the real world, but wasn't sure if that was a "thing" people said! Hello validation!


He he he... boobies.


I'm proud to say we share the same first name and love of ColdFusion. Great poem, got my first belly laugh in days.



My take on 'awesomesauce' is that's it's probably already passe, but I just can't stop using it ... at least not for stuff like this poem ;)



Heck yeah - "Ben" for the win !


Sometimes, the good phrases just keep coming back around. Hella sweeeet :)


awwww!!! ha ha!! are full of surprises!! this was so creative.
I am sure that love is mutual :D
ah...and the quote:
["I find the crazier I get, the more interesting life becomes"]-- :D So true. I tried that in my life too and it works :D.


Ben, this sounded like open mic night at a sleazy bar at the far end of town. Good on ya. Oh, while this one was ok, last years Valentine's post was much better. ;-)


@Ben, you had me at byte-code. <quivering>You had me at byte-code.</quivering>

(LOL'ing at the poem. Way too much effort put in to it).

Ben, it's okay to love Coldfusion. Just don't love ColdFusion.


[and I quote] "But with your tags and angled brackets -"

...and I screamed "hypocrisy" !!!

I thought people hated those brackets and tags. That's why even cfquery has an equivalent C/Java style syntax (which is stupid IMHO)



What can I say - I'm a fan of the tags. I use so much of the templating aspect of ColdFusion that the tags just seem to be the most seamlessly integratable version of the language.

Perhaps if ColdFusion ever has support for E4X within script, I'll start moving in the script direction.



Both versions of the spelling seem to show up in dictionaries; so, I wasn't sure which one to pick. I figured it didn't matter so much since the word is so cool :)

I believe in love. I believe in compassion. I believe in human rights. I believe that we can afford to give more of these gifts to the world around us because it costs us nothing to be decent and kind and understanding. And, I want you to know that when you land on this site, you are accepted for who you are, no matter how you identify, what truths you live, or whatever kind of goofy shit makes you feel alive! Rock on with your bad self!
Ben Nadel