Big Girls Like Me
Posted August 25, 2007 at 4:04 PM
I am huge fan of people-watching and I tend to give everyone I pass on the sidewalk the "once over." I like to size everyone up and see what's interesting or attractive or weird or whatever about people... they are just really cool to look at; the human body is an amazing thing in both form and expression and in New York City especially, you really see some crazy stuff from time to time.
One of the things that I've noticed over the past few years is that girls in general just don't look at me. At least, not that I ever notice. And considering that I look at just about everyone, I would probably notice, right??? That's cool though; I'm a computer programmer who loves talking about sexy things like ColdFusion and SQL optimization (oh baby, that's hot), and as such, I don't much expect to be noticed by people of the female persuasion.
But, I have to say that the few times that I actually do make eye contact with the ladies, it is always ladies of a heftier nature. Apparently, I have the kind of look that appeals to woman of a thicker body type. That's cool with me - I am not judging; like I said, I find many body types attractive. This is just the trend that I have noticed.
It's funny, actually - right now, I live in Chelsea which is a very gay-oriented part of New York. Living there is kind of a double-edged sword for me. One the one hand, some of the guys actually check me out, and, while I don't orient that way, it is very flattering (considering that I pass unnoticed around woman). But, on the other hand, most of the gay guys around here are in just phenomenal physical shape! It's an odd feeling to walk down 8th Avenue and feel both more attractive and so completely unhealthy :)
Anyway, not really much to say on the topic - I'm not in a working mood at the moment and I thought I would put this down on paper. Although, now that I think about it, friends of mine usually accuse me of liking "chubby" women. If that is true, maybe it's because subconsciously I feel more attracted to the girls who seem to find me more attractive??? I haven't taken a biology class in years, but that's probably some sort of evolutionary adaptation to help ensure that I pass my genes on to the next generation.... the human Animal is just amazing!
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Reader Comments
believe me when I tell you that a little fluff on a women is WAAAAY better then a skinny girl. Skinny girls hurt hips, if you know what I mean. Now personally I was not the one to date an overly obese girl, but she did have to have enough on her.
Posted by tony petruzzi on Aug 25, 2007 at 5:40 PM
Well hey Ben, it certainly goes both ways! As a CF programmer myself, I have that "geek grrl" look, what with wearing glasses and having a body you can only get from being at a computer all day, and I certainly don't get much interest from the male persuasion. Too bad, since I think I have way more in common with most guys than the typical "hot chicks" types!
Posted by Mary Jo on Aug 25, 2007 at 6:25 PM
HAHA! Thanks Ben! Thought I would see what the latest news was on CF but your post grabbed me...had a laugh instead. It's funny how it all ties in. Just watched this anime series my brother has been going on about for ages. A cheezy 90's series called Golden Boy (no not the Eddie Murphy one...The One). Don't really watch much...of anything but it one out over doing my tax returns. Anyway, it's about a student of life...who is always checking out chics...ok, I'm wasting my time explaining this but the parallel between your post made it even funnier.
And yes, humans are fun to watch...I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be one...
Well,thanks for the 'rounded' blogging.
Peace
Posted by Devon Burriss on Aug 25, 2007 at 7:04 PM
@Tony,
I am with you on that :) Too skinny looks unhealthy. Certainly, I find a whole spectrum of shapes and sizes attractive.
@Mary Jo,
I guess we are never alone in these things. Not sure if that is a happy thing or a sad thing :) To make matters worse, I also don't drink, smoke, sing or dance... of course I do love to sing, but mostly when no one else can hear ;) If it makes you feel any better, Flickr has a "Geek Girls Are Sexy" pool. Not sure how many of the qualify as true "geek girls", but I appreciate that at least the sentiment is out there.
@Devon,
Glad you could laugh at my life... just kidding, always glad to entertain. I have been trying to keep my non-technical posts to the weekend, so check back if you like.
Posted by Ben Nadel on Aug 25, 2007 at 8:16 PM
Tip for all geeks guy:
If you're dying to meet women and need to get in shape, join yoga, forget the gym or clubs. Trust me on this. I did yoga hardcore for about 2 years and still do it now from time to time (marriage gets in the way), Anywho, all I can say is that I was 1 of 3 guys in the class with about 20 other women. Needless to say I had the pick of the crop. Believe me, the women were hot, intelligent and extremely nice. Basically everything you're looking for in a women. Plus I lost a lot of weight doing it (60 lbs in 3 months). The added benefit on the programming side is that it relaxes the hell and relieves all your stress; with a clearer head you can program more efficient.
Posted by Tony Petruzzi on Aug 26, 2007 at 12:50 AM
maybe it's because subconsciously I feel more attracted to the girls who seem to find me more attractive?
That's an interesting observation/point...
Posted by Ash on Aug 26, 2007 at 9:27 AM
@Tony,
While I agree 100% that that is probably a great place to meet women, I almost have to say I would be more excited about the benefits of Yoga :) Sitting behind a desk all day, almost every day, I am one stiff-jointed man! Even as someone who works out (when I can), my flexibility is garbage.
Posted by Ben Nadel on Aug 26, 2007 at 11:25 AM
I've been working out regularly 3-4 times a week since April last year. It's really become an addiction for me and I just love it. I don't think the women notice me more, maybe if I sport the mini mohawk I got while in NYC last time but at least women who did know me before pay a lot more attention since I've lost so much weight. I want to continue trying some new things in the workout area and Yoga is one of them.
Ben, if you ask me women with a bit of meat on them is quite nice. I'd rather grab a solid woman than one thin as a pencil. For example, just yesterday I saw a photo of Nicole Richie. Cute face and all but god what a hideous body. I don't like to judge but you got to look out after yourself health wise and she clearly isn't. I love taking a woman out to eat that actually eats her food! I love too cook. A woman who does not eat is simply unattractive.
But now that you mention big girls liking you the first image that came into my mind was from the Borat movie, where he falls for an overly large sized prostitute. Ben... I'm disappointed in you. :)
Posted by Javier Julio on Aug 26, 2007 at 11:29 AM
Everyone always talks about Yoga so I'm quite excited about the benefits myself. I've enjoyed working out a lot but I know you got to keep changing your routines and not only that but simply trying new things to keep the interest there.
I agree Ben, I have a hard time now sitting in front of a PC because I love being active. After lunch today I'm heading out to play soccer. What I do to help me out at work and also has helped me keep my weight the same ever since I've lost it (never gained a pound back!) is I go out for a 30 minute walk everyday. Instead of going out to lunch like the guys do, pigging out on all you can eat buffets every week I eat my own cooked food and then for lunch I go on a walk. It pays off.
Posted by Javier Julio on Aug 26, 2007 at 11:32 AM
@Javi,
I am with you on that one. I did not mean for this post to come across as me not liking bigger girls in any way. To the contrary, if there is anything that I don't like, it's girls like you are talking about - Nicole Richie - who just look absolutely revolting.
Dude, if you move to NY, we should hit the gym together sometime.
Posted by Ben Nadel on Aug 26, 2007 at 11:35 AM
Hilarious! We seem to be pretty similar. I'm a people watcher too and I always wondered why thinner girls don't check me out like the bigger girls do. Ever notice that when a hot girl is alone she won't do this, but in groups they do? Or if you are with your really attractive girlfriend they check you out? Hot girls always get leered at and approached for a phone number, email, etc. So whether it is conscious or not, hot girls often avoid eye contact or checking you out in order to avoid being approached for a date. They are just avoiding uncomfortable situations like having to say no to you. Hotties in a group, or if you're with your girlfriend gives them security, so they will check you out. Watch for this, I'll bet you noticed them looking then. The same is true for attractive guys too. Ever find yourself trying to avoid eye contact with bigger girls? I do, but sometimes being the people watcher that I am, I stare at them too, and I tell you, I never get stared back at like such a piece of meat and then followed. But, if you want to have some social experimenting fun with the hot girls who are trying to avoid your eye contact, get in her way as you pass by and give her a big ornery grin! They will be more be more willing to check you out when you are smiling and not leering at her with a straight faced psycho stalker look. It's good fun!
Posted by CoolJJ on Aug 27, 2007 at 9:58 AM
@CoolJJ,
Ha ha ha, dynamite commentary :) I will have to try some of that some time. When it comes to people watching, I only have a few rules:
1. Try not to linger on a girl who is with her boyfriend (he won't like it and neither would I if it was reversed).
2. Don't look too creepy (straight faced psycho stalker).
3. If you see two or more girls are walking together, check out the least attractive one (who knows, it might just make her day cause she probably knows she is walking about with more attractive girls).
Other than that, I just have fun. Never gotten up in anyone's face though, not sure I would have the courage for that move :)
Posted by Ben Nadel on Aug 27, 2007 at 10:16 AM
LOL! Better add one to that list.
4. Girls who appear younger than 18 and are with their father!
I had a pal who always got busted on that one! Man, if those father's glares could kill, he'd be dead a hundred times over. Brings back memories of me and my pals watching Scotty walk through a room with the most debonair bounce to his step checking out every single girl in the most obvious way and getting busted every time! Just hilarious to watch!
Posted by CoolJJ on Aug 27, 2007 at 10:47 AM
You can count on it Ben! I go to the gym with some friends since my apartment has a 24 hour fitness center. It's not that big but it has what you need. It pays off going with friends since they help you keep that schedule. Since they don't live in the apartment complex they can't go but I can let them in. This keeps me from getting lazy on 1 or so of the 4 workout days. But regardless I'll go on my own and be there for almost 2 hours. The effort into working out feels great when you can outrun all your friends in soccer. :)
Posted by Javier Julio on Aug 27, 2007 at 12:40 PM
Ben,
I think that the girls that get the most attention (and most of it unwanted) by guys tend to be on the defensive. As a teenager they learn to look forward and avoid eye contact. They learn that if you make eye contact with the wrong man, he's gonna start talking to you and asking you on a date. He could be a handsome guy, but a complete loser. So, it's best not to make eye contact until you are in a situation where he can be considered safe. For instance, at a party, you are likely to find people of a similar nature. The eye contact will prevalent there, especially if she is attracted to you.
So, for hot women, they have made it a learned behavior. The more attractive the woman by society's standards, the more fiercely she is going to stare forward. For women that don't get as much attention, they are willing to look around and take the risk.
Finally, girls can check guys out and make a decision before we've even seen the girl. They've got eagle eyes and can catalogue our appearances in no time. We have to sit there and oogle.
Once married, this is still useful, as women catalogue everything around the house so that you can always ask where your blue shirt with the ColdFusion logo is.
Posted by Justin Treher on Aug 28, 2007 at 4:47 PM
Agreed there with most of you guys.. not into skinny girls :D... and wow you last 60 lbs in 3 months that is awsome + lot of other benifits (more girls) should join the class ASAP :).
Posted by John on Sep 13, 2007 at 2:04 PM
Hi there! Just go out and pickup all women which you'll met.
Computer is not important side of your life. Don't sit at one place.
Go out!!!
Posted by Jackky on Apr 18, 2008 at 1:00 AM
