Ben Nadel
On User Experience (UX) Design, JavaScript, ColdFusion, Node.js, Life, and Love.
Ben Nadel at cf.Objective() 2013 (Bloomington, MN) with: Jason Dean
Ben Nadel at cf.Objective() 2013 (Bloomington, MN) with: Jason Dean@JasonPDean )

How Do I Offend You, Please Let Me Know

By Ben Nadel on
Tags: ColdFusion, Work

I love ColdFusion. I love it. I love writing about it. I love experimenting with it. I love showing code samples about it... I also happen to be retarded. I tend to get so wrapped up in what I am doing that I rarely stop to think about how I might be offending anyone. Several people have been kind enough to contact me off line to let me know that I might be offending people (and how I might be doing that). I really appreciate all the honesty, and every time I get comments like that, I tend to pull back for a while. But then, it happens again.

Ultimately, I want to help people and share knowledge and create a general resource for people in web development. As such, I want to keep it fun, but at the same time, keep it clean. So, if people can just be honest (and anonymous if you prefer), just leave a comment here about things that I have done that offend you and I will try to avoid that.

  • Things that other people have complained about (to get the ball rolling):
  • Basically all graphics that have men / women in questionable scenarios.
  • Code snippets that degrade people or refer to sexuality.
  • Blog posts about the porn industry.

Help me help you! I will do what I can to curb myself (but at the same time, letting my fun loving personality through).

Reader Comments

Seriously, you haven't offended me personally but I can tell you that some of the off-color posts that you make have made some people at my work hesitant to view your site on their work PCs. It is obviously your blog and you can do what you want, and I have no personal issue with your blog, but you have good content here and I think it is a shame if people don't read it because of this issue. I think it would be more inclusive if you found another outlet for that stuff, particularly the racy photography, but I will keep reading the other posts either way.

Hey Ben,

No question the examples are often a little NSFW. The examples you choose are going to alienate or offend a certain group of people and I think you're gonna have to just decide what you want.

Some people (myself included) are always going to read your blog. Good content, you're a good guy, and I don't believe any of the stuff people could find offensive is done in a malicious way.

Some people are never going to like what you do. Whether it's because you're from New York, because you're not thoughtful enough to provide a translation in Lithuanian or because they just don't like orange in page titles - someone will always be annoyed with something.

For all the rest, everyone has hot buttons, and some of them are common in society (and I'm not saying it is wrong for them to have hot buttons - we all care about what we care about). So, anything to do with the big four sensitive topics (sex, race, religion, and Mach-II vs. Model Glue) is clearly gonna p-off more people. At the end of the day you just decide what is fundamentally part of you and what you want to share and leave that in (accepting and eventually null-routing the flames) and what is more trouble than it is worth (like the M2 vs. MG debate) and you'll just cut the references for a peaceful life (or at least to pick more important battles).

Good luck with finding your balance.

And here I was thinking that all those things that people find offensive were actually one of the highlights of the blog... Seriously, I hope you keep on doing things exactly the way you have. I doubt you'll have a lot of varied examples anyway, the ones you gave are basically a variation on the same theme.

Wtf is the world coming to when a person that shares free code and great ideas has to try not to offend people on his own blog?! I haven't seen anything close to offending on here (you had posts about the porn industry?!,he he, where? I'd like to read that) so for the small amount of numb nuts out there that might feel offended by something ridiculously stupid, they can bug off (and I'm being nice). Nobody makes them come here and read your blog. I know this might be somewhat of a harsh approach but I've been coming to the realization that you can never please everybody. I'll stop there cause I can go on about this for a while.

The only thing that you have to remember that is when you even THINK that something is NFSW, please mark it as so. Otherwise you could be putting someone's job at risk.

Classic example. Look at your code snippet for DHTML entitled "Dynamic Box Graphics With Javascript Class Wrappers". Did you have to use a naked women for the picture? In a case like this, have two examples with one clearly labeled NSFW.

Personally I care less about the whole thing. I myself was in the porn industry for a number of years before. People in the industry tend to be a lot more open then others (pun intended).

But you do have to remember that your blog has become a lot more technical and now draws an entirely different crowd and most of this crowd will visit your site during working hours to find help. In that case you need to make sure that it's safe if the boss happens to be walking by.

Dude Boyan, don't be such an ass. If the guy is asking its because he wants to know and if he wanted to tell everyone to f--k off he could just as well have done that. Clearly, he wants people reading his blog and obviously the topic has come up more than once otherwise this post wouldn't exist. Peter basically said in his more eloquent way what I was trying to say, which is, if those readers don't matter to you then keep doing it; if they do, then maybe put that stuff in another blog or something. There will always be people who will read your blog either way, but there will also always be people who won't read it for that reason alone. Whether that is important is up to you...but my guess is, if it wasn't you wouldn't have posted this would you?

I say do what you want. As for comments, don't worry. As others have said, there will almost always be people who find the words of others offensive. Only thing I'd ask is to indicate somehow when a photo might be a little racy. I won't even say offensive, but I agree with another poster...I view your site mostly at work and it would be a little awkward were my boss to walk up behind me while I happened to be viewing one of those pics.

I think some of the other comments here are pretty much right on the money. You haven't offended me, I love the stuff you post. Never really got the whole risque angle of it until you pointed it out.

But if you want to be taken seriously by people who are more... inhibited by you, you may want to consider tone. I did the same thing myself. (I had a section of my blog dedicated to people I would like to cockpunch.
But then again, I hired an awesome developer because he knew me as that "cockpunch guy.")

So if you want to impress people with a more vanilla attitude, then you may have to tone it down. If you want to be completely unique and niche, keep it up. Just remember it's more likely that your next future employer will be store brand vanilla, but the next employer you're going to love working for will be closer in temperament to you.

People actually said they were 'offended'? I can see mentioning some of the things might not be safe for work (or wife). But to actually be offended is juts ridiculous.

One of the biggest problems in this country is we have lost the ability to laugh at ourselves and take ourselves way to damned serious. If you are one was claimed to be 'offended', get over it, and get over yourself.

i've got nothing new to add. just adding support to those who have already spoken.

i've never been anything close to offended by anything on your blog. and while i'm pretty hard to offend personally, i'm generally sympathetic to things that others might find offensive. still, i really haven't seen anything that i'd consider to be in that category on your blog.

yes, there -have- been times that i've been reading your blog at work and BOOM! picture of a nekkid chick. so yeah, i have to close the window quickly and hope nobody saw that.

it hasn't stopped me from reading your blog (either at home or at work)... but when i'm reading it at work, i do have to admit to being ready to pounce on the "close" button should some boobies happen to appear.

as peter and brian said earlier, you post a lot of quality stuff (um...i mean the CF stuff, not the nekkid chicks...altho the nekkid chicks are good too...just good different). it'd be a shame if people didn't get to read these posts because they need to be sensitive to their work environment.

you could always post pictures of puppy dogs and kitties and when you mouse over 'em they turn into pics of hooters. and not just any hooters. i mean great big massive block-out-the-sun kinda hooters.

this way those that read your blog for the hooter still get the hooters and those who need to maintain a work safe environment get puppies :)

I tend to agree with Scott. Let you be you.

If the content on your site is offensive or NSFW and that is a risk to some or bothers some, then maybe put a disclaimer that has to be accepted before viewing content.. it's nice to give someone the option of not having to view content they may find offensive.

At the same time, it is a choice, I wouldn't walk into a strip club and ask them not to strip just because I wanted a drink and they happen to serve alcohol. I would go somewhere else.

The important thing is letting people know your content may be offensive to them.

As a small-time blogger, I can understand when you expouse opinions unpopular can get you flamed.

Do what feels right to you.

This is your baby, your heart, your child.

if they only wanted technical content, they can get that thru the rss feed.

But for me, if it's good info, i don't give a you know what, if has a few good jolts of humor.

Do not be afraid of you being you...

I kind of dig what Voltaire has to say about things like this.

"I may disagree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

If you feel uncomfortable reading the blog during work, then don't.

It's your responsibility, not Ben's.

I think Charlie is on to something here...

"you could always post pictures of puppy dogs and kitties and when you mouse over 'em they turn into pics of hooters. and not just any hooters. i mean great big massive block-out-the-sun kinda hooters.

this way those that read your blog for the hooter still get the hooters and those who need to maintain a work safe environment get puppies :)"

I find this post offensive.

You are taking light of the fact that there are really people who are intellectualy or physically challenged.

The use of the word retarded should be added to your list of things to avoid.

PS: Other than that I don't remember being offended :)

craig, regarding:

"If you feel uncomfortable reading the blog during work, then don't.
It's your responsibility, not Ben's."

i've never asked ben to change anything in any way to accomodate the fact that sometimes i'm uncomfortable reading his blog at work.

i bringing it up now because i'm answering a question that he explicitly asked and wants an answer to.

Ben, I check your blog almost daily and think there's a ton of great info here. I have no qualms about the relatively mildly off color jokes or pics, but I am the one of the least easily offended people you'll ever meet. I wouldn't change a thing.

I don't post nearly as many entries about CF or IT in general as you do, but I maintain two different blogs. I have a pretty raunchy sense of humor and pipe all of my nervous creative energy into (**click at your own risk**), and keep my tech blog separate at I try to keep the humor injections at the latter a little friendlier for a broader audience. :-)

I don't find anything offensive here. Keep up the good work, and keep sharing in your unique way. If I started receiving the occasional complaint about risque content on my blog, I'd take it as a sign of popularity. Eventually, you'll always offend someone. At least you know how it will happen :)

Maybe you're the only one it was news for. Just Google Image "Tony Studmuffin" and you'll see his work.

Didn't he mention he was "on camera talent"? Too hsy, I guess :->

I'm not offended at all and I find your blog really entertaining - it's very distinctive and individual and I think that's great.

Too many people are far too worried about offending someone but, frankly, it's all too easy to offend people by accident. I've had some really serious flames in comments on my blog for what I thought were very innocuous posts. You never can tell.

I hope you don't change what you do on the blog.

I'm not offended at all and I find your blog really entertaining - it's very distinctive and individual and I think that's great.

Too many people are far too worried about offending someone but, frankly, it's all too easy to offend people by accident. I've had some really serious flames in comments on my blog for what I thought were very innocuous posts. You never can tell.

I hope you don't change what you do on the blog.

Yeah, me too. But with that Attwood quote of his, well, just don't expect an apology any time soon. He's not as nice as Ben :->

I am offended that you code differently than I do and I have to think about it and decide if I need to change how I do something. I am also offended that you are much better at adding comments to your code than I am. Did I mention that you make me think sometimes, and this is to be avoided at all costs.

However, I agree with the NSFW tags where appropriate.

Ok, not to be a PITA, but I am playing devil's advocate here. First, it really isn't informative to know that his current readers are not offended...if they were they wouldn't read it..which is part of the point. Second, in large part, and this has come up in previous comments, we are talking about people's work here. I am not offended, but someone I work for could be...or my job might consider some of Ben's content to be unsuitable for work viewing. Nevermind my boss, he is a cool guy anyway, but the stuff I read is monitored and even if my boss doesn't care, his boss might.

Again, I am all for Ben getting to do whatever he feels like, that is the luxury of your own personal blog...but for those of you are are judging people who might get offended I think is equally silly. No one is threatening to sue Ben or something, so seriously, you get off your high horse here. Ben seems to want to widen his readership and I think we all admit that the content has the potential to be a deterrent to that. If I were browsing porn and got ColdFusion technical crap I would be equally offended ;) The point is, each thing has its place.

I almost believed you Peter - until that search didn't have any results. Does that make me "weird" that I actually Googled that?

"The point is, each thing has its place."

Brian, I respectfully disagree. I think that one of the things that makes Ben's blog particularly enjoyable and special is that he mixes things, and as such I don't find anything out of place. Just like it's important to let Ben know that he may lose part of his audience if he doesn't tone things down, it's important to tell him that his style is VERY appreciated by some, which counts for something as well. So I think people saying how much they like Ben's blog the way it is is entirely appropriate and constructive.

@Todd, Not really. Although I didn't Google until *after* I posted. Could have been embarrassing for everyone involved if Tony really did have a "colorful" past of which I was unaware!

No...I think he really meant it Peter...

"I myself was in the porn industry for a number of years before. "

see his comment above.


Oh, that I knew. A lot of the hosting guys I know were in porn because back in the day it basically paid for big chunks of the internet. However, most of them weren't on-camera :->

Of course if he actually *was* the talent then good on. People will pay me for many things but taking my clothes off isn't one of them :->

Katie gets offended at my blog all the time.

It really depends on what Ben wants in life. Does he want to encourage more women to become CF programmers? (Ye --does she read this Ben?-- is the #1 female CF programmer!) Does he want to speak at more CF community engagements? Does he want to write a book on CF? Does he want to have a consultancy business one day? Does he want to run for public office?

If the answer is YES to any of the above questions, then he should make the blog rated PG. (Programmer Guidance) I don't care about "freedom" and "rights". This is a public forum that is being copied as we speak by

Having nekkit women on the blog, albeit fun, will come back to haunt in the future. It's not about Offense. It's about the real world. In the real world, there are sexual harrassment lawsuits. Believe me, I KNOW about this. The workplace has, for better or worse, made sexual content a very real and uncomfortable issue.

Anyway, I don't want to scare you Ben. But if Ye wouldn't approve of it, then it's probably a bad idea.

Ben, as someone who gets the occasional correspondences about the tone of my jokes I know what you are going through. But to agree with the majority of the comment here, this is your space! If you wanted to do the unimaginable and start posting disgusting images of ASP or PHP code you can. When it came to the jokes for me there was just too many good comments to stop it! I don't think I have lost readers, and I do try and warn early if its really offensive (most of the time anyway). Maybe just stick 'nsfw' at the beginning of your posts when you are going to show anything offensive to give people the knowledge of whats coming.

I think some of the choices of variable names / values you use in your example code is at times childish, but I don't find it offensive. Just a bit sad. But each to their own.


I still read your blog; not religiously, but when Fullasagoog picks up an article.

I think it is a good resource, and more practical than some of the other CF blogs out there, which tend to spend a bit too much time up their own arses for my liking.


I'm posting this anonymously as what I'm going to write may or may not be perceived poorly.

First off, the use of the word offensive is polarizing opinions unnecessarily.

Your content, when mixed with certain topics as you do, makes it inappropriate for certain audiences. That includes parents who let their kids read tech stuff over their shoulders, technologists who work in corporations, and many others.

The question here isn't "is it offensive?", the question here is, "is it appropriate?"

And truthfully, it often isn't. Therefore I tend to avoid this blog, because i expect it to be inappropriate in many situations. The last thing that needs to happen to anyone is for a CIO, investor or child to walk by and see/read the wrong thing.

Presentation is important. If you want to consciously limit your audience to those who don't care, or are willing the accept any risk or complications resulting from your blog being on their screen, that's up to you. If you want to open it up to a wider audience, then that also is your choice.

Is it offensive? Not really. Is it inappropriate? Pretty much.

Not a lot new here, just my $.02. (Ever notice that the value of opinions is the one price not affected by inflation?)

Ben, you'd have to work a lot harder than this to offend me. More to the point, I'd rather you didn't change your style- you blog is a lot of fun.

That being said, I'm just about to the point of reading it after work. I can justify blog reading at work because it's CF related. But I don't care *where* she's got the new Scorpio logo tattooed, first time my boss sees a naked chick on my screen, I'm going to have a lot of *very* uncomfortable explaining to do.

Hey all, thanks a lot for your feedback. It is much appreciated. I am not going to bother "tagging" posts as inappropriate as tags generally don't show up on aggregators. However, I think I will put:


At the end of any title that has not-safe-for-work content. I would put NSFW, but I didn't even know what that meant till I asked someone. If anyone has any better verbage, let me know. I was thinking of going with:


As my blog is Kinky Solutions.... but I thought that might be pushing it.

And Todd... I totally googled it too :) Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Some of the examples are a bit junior high for me, and while I might roll my eyes on occasion (I swear I saw the word "boobies" in one of them), the content is good enough that I still read your blog daily. I'm not offended, but I do think that it is a needless distraction from otherwise very quality stuff. But hey, you're not here to please me - just my 2 cents. Obviously some people enjoy it.

I'm hard to offend, so I've not had any problems personally with it - I just figured you were doing a good job standing out and it gave the blog some color and personality.

I can certainly understand the others who may have been offended (or rather, that it is inappropriate in certain situations for them to be reading it because it may offend someone), for all the reasons they mentioned, not limited just to work.

I think the conclusion to put "saucy" on the post gives you the best of both worlds.

I didn't know what NSFW meant either, until I saw Peter's link the other day (I figured it out based on the content)

And Todd: you mean you haven't seen Tony in those movies?

Now that I've read some of the opinions expressed by folks along the vein of being careful for reasons of your career and professional acceptance in the CF community at large, they make a compelling case. Even though I keep my "saucy" blog separate from my tech blog, I'm still relatively anonymous to the casual visitor. If I have to look for a new job down the road, I'd prefer a google search of my name not coming up with several pages of links to my juvenile postings. :-)

But again, I still wouldn't change anything here. You're never going to make everyone happy all of the time. I have no fears over reading your posts at work, but some work environments are more laid back than others.


I am quite impressed that you keep two different blogs. I don't think I would have the energy for it. But, it would be cool as there is stuff I might blog about that I don't since it all goes in the same place.

Well, like I said, I put most of my energy into the saucy one. I started the tech one a few months ago after I realized I wanted to post occasional gadget and electronics reviews, code samples, and other stuff that kind of breaks with the theme of my original blog without boring or alienating my regular readers. So I suppose the irony is that I didn't want to "offend" people with postings about CF, external hard drives, and graphics cards. :-)

I'm glad I separated the two because the new one actually has resulted a couple offers of doing some side consulting work. I guarantee that wouldn't have happened if my CF posts were bookended by poo jokes and f-bombs! *grin*

@Jeremy and @Ben,

I've always used my real identity on the web so Google turns up everything in my past. I was a fairly prolific poster on USENET back in the day in some groups folks would consider very "inappropriate" and my personal site also has a fair bit of material considered "inappropriate" - some of it has very high traffic since it cross-linked from a number of USENET FAQs etc. I've also appeared on national TV in England in connection with some of that material (and filmed other related stuff that didn't make it to TV).

Have I reduced my "audience"? Possibly. Has it hurt me in the long term? Very hard to say. I do know that my site is only the "banned" list at some companies due to the non-technical content. That just tells me some companies I wouldn't want to work for...

Adding the (Saucy) suffix to "inappropriate" posts sounds like a good compromise. Keep it up! (Oo-er! :)

Sean, not all of us have the chops and highly regarded reputation that you do, so we probably have more reason to be careful. :-)

A guess a little clarification is in order here about my "porn" past.

A long time ago (about 7 years now), I use to own a website called and a sister site called (For geekiness they were my first CF shopping cart apps).

Me and some friends made some great money running the sites which sold both adult toys and movies. I had many contacts in the industry with suppliers for the toys and the distribution warehouses for the studios.

Through these contacts we did do some sites for some people (I'm not going to name who) and we made a great living off it.

My involvement stopped when I got a permanent position at my current employer.

No. I never did any "performing" or "on set" work. There are no movies of me floating around out there under a sudo name. Besides, if I had been "performing" in movies, do you really think that I would be a CF programmer? Let's see...... have sex with Taylor Rain or write a CFC to interface with Amazon S3....... hmmmmmm.

On a littler note:

Tony Studmuffin would not have been my stage name. My stage name would have been James Hallock. Which does sound cool BTW.

Your "porn" or "stage" name is devised by taking your middle name and the first street you lived on, thus:

tony james petruzzi -> james
hallock ave in new jersey -> hallock

Heh... In college, my roommate and I were doing some mainstream web design and programming on a contract basis for a guy who later approached us to help him start up an adult-oriented website and offered beaucoup cash (at least for a starving college student in the mid 90's). We discussed the risks and rewards and eventually agreed it probably wasn't a good idea, not necessarily because of the nature of the site, but because this dude was a grade A sleazebag. After we graduated, my former roomie forwarded me a newspaper article about Mr. Sleaze being busted for using his computer business as a front for dealing coke and other illicit substances. We were not regretting our decision at that point!

Also, I've heard other people use the porn name convention of your first pet's name and the street you grew up on. Having grown up in rural North Dakota, that would make me "Max Rural Route 1." :-D


Thanks for the back story, although the naming convention would NOT work for me. "Fergie St Pauls" is just NOT the kind of name that shifts DVDs :->

Gotta say, that Amazon S3 interface is kind sexy . . .

"Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended"

When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. A news report, an economic downturn, a rude stranger, a fashion miscue, someone cursing, a sneeze, a black cloud, any cloud, an absence of clouds -- just about anything will do if you're looking for an occasion to be offended....


My personal opinion on the matter is that if you get offended by something then stop reading the web site. Leave. If you come back and get offended again then you have no right to complain. You already knew that there was risky content, but you came back anyways. So its your own fault.

...and to those of you who feel that Ben uses too many porn references, well, that is partially my fault. I love porn, and women, and all the things that come with porn and woman and it is totally possible that some of my opinions might have rubbed off on Ben. Working in a mostly male environment it is important to myself and Ben to discuss the finer points of the female form. If we didn't have those discussion we might go mad, or worse still, be forced to do some work!

Ben - you offend me by being smarter than me. Not much, but enough to notice :-p

Keep up the good work; if the odd post about pr0n keeps you interested in blogging then that's good enough for me.

Oh good gravy Marie!

The name of the blog is "Kinky Solutions." There's an outline of a woman in the header. The shortcut icon is the same figure. Gee, that gives me a few clues about the blog author right there.

Does everything have to be "politically correct" all the time? There's a little concept known as "freedom of expression, thought, belief and conscience." By the way, the term "politically correct" affects the realm of politics and government, not published or written material.

I would go on to say that the "PC movement" is nothing more than an attempt to destroy language from the conceptual point. It's reaching proportions of the absurd.

Am I to say, "So-and-so is a follically challenged, body-mass challenged, mentally challenged individual," instead of "So-and-so's a balding, fat-a**ed moron" now?

How do I describe someone with out of date skills and an arrogant attitude? "Betty's skills are temporally out of sync and she's defends it zealously."?

Ben's expressing himself. He has that right. If you don't like how he expresses himself, here's the solution: don't read his blog. The price you pay for your "offense" is you don't get to benefit from his smarts.

Personally, I've had some programming situations with CF that have been akin to running naked through rose bushes. Guess what? Something in Ben's blog helped me solve it.

So, if you benefit from his blog and his love of all things CF, the price of admission is to accept his quirks.

I, for one, plan to keep on reading. Why? Simple. Ben's not only an entertaining read, his grasp of CF programming is excellent, IMNSHO.

Thank you, Ben, for some great content.

I just think if there were two blogs to read, both with the same content, but the styles were:

1) Childish, misogynisticly toned, like this one.
2) Not.

I know which one I'd be more likely to read.

Sure, it's up to Ben which way he errs. But then again, he also did ask for comment on this particular topic.

I find the writing approach Ben has to be quite accessible, and some of his stuff really worth reading. And I think this could be preserved if the sexism was swapped out for more neutral wording. At the end of the day, the tone doesn't actually contribute to the blog content. It DOES detract from it (granted, not for everyone).

Sexism aside, the chief problem I have with his style is the unreadability of his sample code. I know the spread-each-statement-over-1000-lines is an attempt to make it MORE readable, but I'm not sure it does. There's such a thing as *too much* white space, I think.

Still: all minor gripes. I still read the blog, after all ;-)




I am not sure I would consider any of my writing Sexist. Childish? Most definitely, but I don't think that I am, in any way, a sexist. I don't believe women to be inferior in any way, nor do I feel I discriminate against them or promote any sort of stereotypes. I simply use them in examples. I enjoy talking about them because I enjoy women.

So, granted, I will be the first to tell you that some of my stuff is childish... but let's not go throwing around terms like Sexist :) And if you think that what I say is sexist, then at least let's go both ways.... I'd be happy to tell you that I think Vin Diesel is a hot piece of man candy just as readily as I would tell that I think Maria Bello is insanely sexy. I appreciate beauty in all its forms; I only talk about women more because it makes it more fun for me.

As far as the white space in my code, most of that is for me. I have trouble reading code that is too tight (tight should read "little whitespace", not more efficient). Also, I cannot cannot cannot cannot stand code samples that require me to scroll horizontally. And such, most of the time, I do whatever it takes to make that not happen.

But, of course, its just personal preference. I also can't stand single quotes, and some people love using single quotes. Whatever helps you sleep at night is all good :)

Hi Ben
When you reduce women to sex appeal, how good they look in a bikini, suggest their most important asset is their hair colour, and bust measurements, and generally objectifying them: you're being sexist.

I don't take personal offence at it. I don't take personal offence at anything. It is what it is though.


@Adam, I don't agree. I think this is like so many liberals crying "racism" where none actually exists.

If *you* think that a picture of a woman in a bikini objectifies women, well, that's your opinion. But things like Miss Universe etc are not *inherently* sexist which is the comparison you're effectively making - women participate voluntarily in such contests, in the same way that women voluntarily become pole dancers, belly dancers or even strippers.

Assuming that portraying individuals in attractive poses / photographs is sexist is just silly.

And just to prove what a double standard such commentary is, think about how you'd react if Ben's examples all used men and he published pictures of attractive men instead? Would you still then call him sexist? Would you imagine that his women readers would call him sexist? No.

And just to be clear about the racism comment: I'm not saying racism doesn't exist, merely that liberals tend to imagine it in many situations where there is no racism.

I'm with Sean on this one. The reason women mostly appear in bikinis on Ben's blog and no other way is merely a coincidence. Ben's blog is a tech blog. I'm sure if he comes accross anything tech-related that a woman came up with (open source project, cool script/UDF, etc.) he will praise her for her work, intelligence, logical approach to programming, or whatever else is relevant. That might not have happened much because there are a lot more male programmers than female if I'm not mistaken, but like I said, that's just an unhappy coincidence that should not reflect negatively on Ben. Hell, I don't even find the posts childish. The guy likes women, oh, the horror! Until he makes a post along the lines of "women belong in the kitchen", I'd say his comments aren't sexist at all. And the fact that some may find them offensive still doesn't make them so.

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
(Bloggers seem sexist when you're unpublished)
Streets are uneven when you're down

Hi Sean
Yeah, actually I would find that equally objectionable (in theory (*)). I think the term "sexism" has culturally been hijacked to refer specifically to the situation as it pertains to women - like anti-semitism as a term seems to only pertain to specifically Jewish people - so I perhaps would not think of that specific term, but there's still the objection there.

I reckon you'd do well not to assume what other people might think, and concentrate on your own situation, to be frank: I think your position on Miss Universe and pole dancers etc shows you to be quite... err... simplistic.

(*) like I said, in practice, I'm personally not going "ooh, how TERRIBLE!". I can just see how people might.

Anyhow: I tire of this. All we're doing is going "is too!" / "is not!", and - speaking for myself - there's better things to dwell on.


@Adam, I speak from a position of some experience given that I'm married to a belly dancer and over the years have known several women in the adult entertainment business (in a variety of roles). I suspect you'd be rather surprised at their attitude since you seem to be making assumptions about their opinions...


Some people used to think that black people were inferior and made them slaves, then others started thinking that black people were in fact equal. Should the latter just have concentrated on their own situation? The example is a bit extreme, but the logic is the same, sometimes if you have a conviction you need to stick to your guns even if it might upset some people. I think that as opposed to many years ago when people were overly prejudiced, today people are overly sensitive. Removing content just because some find it objectionable isn't gonna help IMO, and just because they find it sexist, demeaning, or whatever else it doesn't mean that it is. I mean, "misogynisticly toned"??? You say you don't find the content offensive, and yet you paint it in a rather unfavorable light.

I've used ColdFusion for the past 2.5 years. I know it has not the best reputation but I think it can be used.

i found this post searching for why some.. most?... people are so easily offended. even in the developer world, it's there... the only thing we can do is laugh at it because it's so... i want to say 'idiotic', but i'm going to choose to say 'immature' ;)

now i want to see your posts that are offending people so easily! if only to see your sense of humour and how it might relate to my own. pm is you want. peace!

I'm coming upon this late, as usual (no pun intended). There are a lot of comments here, so I thought I'd add mine since it is the most important one. :-P haha.

I'm probably the most offensive person in the cf world, and not necessarily because I am disrespectful to people (definitely not on purpose), but just because of my very weird and unusual sense of humor and the difficulty I have in expressing it online instead of in person, where people can hear the ups and downs of my vocal tone and tell what is a joke and when I am serious and what-not. The written web world can be the most difficult place to express certain opinions, when you are someone with a sense of humor such as I have, without offending a whole heck of a lot of people.

First off, dare you use all of that WHITE space. Racist!!!! Racist, racist RACIST!!!! You should be using black space. I am now SO offended. :-P Thanks for pointing that out. I always need to know when I need to be offended at something. :-D

@Ben, PLEASE do not use any dudes. Do not change and stop using chicks and start using dudes instead. No offense, but dudes just aren't that nice to look at. I'm straight and all, but I don't really enjoy 'looking' at dudes so much. They have their place in our society. And it's not really for looking at. Sorry. Chicks are just better looking, if you are talking about looks alone.

Now...that being said...there are dudes that are fine pieces of art, but that is exactly what they are, and if want to see them, I will go to google and search them out or try to find a place to go to where I know they will be. I would prefer them not being on this blog. :-P Thanks.

@Sean - wow, a belly dancer? That is WAY cool. I've done some in my lifetime, and I find that look particularly attractive on a woman. :-)

@Rob Pilic,

Boobies? I would MUCH rather @Ben use the word Boobies than the slang word for the same thing. @Ben, please do not start using the slang word for the same thing. I love boobies. I love the word. It's funny. Much better than the slang word for them.

@Thomas Messier,

I think women belong in the kitchen, I LOVE being in the kitchen. And I am a woman. What's wrong with that? It's a fun, awesome, enjoyable place to be, and I think a lot of that has UNFORTUNATELY gotten lost in our current social climate where people are so phobic about putting a woman in the kitchen, that they do the opposite and try to make her almost afraid of being in the kitchen. I wrote a whole comment on the identity post about loving being in the kitchen, so I won't reiterate here. If this offends any of the feminist, I'll put a laptop in the kitchen so that I can write a line or two of CF code while in the midst of my cooking something delicious for dinner!

@Tony Petruzzi,

  • No. I never did any "performing" or "on set" work. There are no movies of me floating around out there under a sudo name. Besides, if I had been "performing" in movies, do you really think that I would be a CF programmer?

There are 'movies' of me, or parts of me floating around out there, but they wouldn't be considered full-on, and not really p!ron, but they are still kind of of an adult nature. Maybe something like pre-p!ron, or Fettishe. Kind of like fluff. And I am a cf programmer.

@the person who mentioned PITA...I am SO offended that you do not eat animals. How could you not want a big juicy steak every now and then?

@Glen Lipka,

are there nekkit women in this blog? Really? And to think that I was really hesitant to submit my french maid picture for the reg ex contest because I thought it might be questionable. :-/