Ben Nadel
On User Experience (UX) Design, JavaScript, ColdFusion, Node.js, Life, and Love.
I am the chief technical officer at InVision App, Inc - a prototyping and collaboration platform for designers, built by designers. I also rock out in JavaScript and ColdFusion 24x7.
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Ben Nadel at CFUNITED 2009 (Lansdowne, VA) with:

The Sexiest Thing A Woman Can Say In An Elevator

By Ben Nadel on

A while back, an ex-girlfriend of mine came to see me at my office. Upon arriving, she exclaimed that she had just ridden up in the elevator with the hottest guy; but, she was so nervous that she couldn't think of a way to start a conversation with him. She asked me for some advice on what to say as an ice-breaker in such a situation. It being the middle of the summer and a doggedly hot day, I thought about it for a minute and suggested she say something like, "I'm definitely glad I wore deodorant today."


 
 
 

 
 I'm definitely glad I wore deodorant today - the sexiest thing a woman can say in an elevator. 
 
 
 

Her initial reaction to this suggestion was one of disgust. "No, I want something SEXY to say," she attempted to correct my obviously gross misunderstanding of her simple request. I tried to explain to her that this was sexy; and, that, in fact, it was both sexy and humanizing - a sweet spot of human interaction.

I went on to clarify that the deodorant defines a mundane commonality - a thing that the two of them would have in common. And, although this fact is hopefully implicit, its statement frames the conversation in a critical way: it serves to remind us that we are all much more alike than we like to think.

As individuals, we tend to amplify our differences. We overestimate the intelligence and the skills of others while simultaneously underestimating our own abilities. Similarly, we often believe that others aren't capable of understanding the depths of our love or the intensity of our pain or the importance of our dreams and ambitions. We constantly fail to give people the benefit of the doubt - martyring ourselves time and time again because, while We can shoulder the burden of suffering, we are convinced that no one else can.

Individualism is necessary for happiness and a sense of fulfillment. But, left completely unchecked, it can create a chasm between us. By bringing up the concept of "deodorant," my friend would ever-so-slightly focus the conversation, bringing to the forefront the oft-forgotten fact that we are much more alike than we are dissimilar.

And, it's sexy. Very sexy. We wear deodorant because we sweat - because we are physical animals with bodies designed to be used. We have this magnificent machinery that provides us with a sensory-rich experience and a means to fulfill our own existence. This body, this skin, these hands, these lips - they are the pathway through which we interact with the world and with each other.

When we think of sweat, we can't help but be reminded of our physicality and our carnality. We can immediately draw upon decades of imagery and experience that links sweat to sensuality and to hard work; to achievement and to man's ability to shape his own existence and to conquer his environment through sheer will and determination.

Sweat is a byproduct of man's unquenchable desire to live.

So yeah, on a hot summer day, a light-hearted comment about deodorant might just be the sexiest thing that a woman can say in an elevator. It serves to both ground us and excite us. Of course, that said, none of this was able to convince my ex of anything - other than perhaps my obvious detachment from reality.



Reader Comments

Hell Yeah! I'm wearing my deodorant are you wearing yours!! ROFLACGU Come to Florida Ben and bring your pickle shirt with you and we'll make it sing. La la la!!

However, if the man in the elevator suffered from low self esteem he might hear the sentence a bit different:
"I'm definitely glad <strog>_I_ wore deodorant today."
She could add a compliment about his choice of deodorant - who doesn't like to be told they smell great?

@Ben,

Lol... That would be such a weird thing to say. How about "it's so hot today!" or "global warming must be true!" or "we should have an air conditioned side walk."

Are you sure it isn't, "Do you think they have security cameras in here....?"

jkjk.. But in all seriousness. Very insightful. Now I'm going to pay more attention to women with deodorant, because THEY CLEARLY WANT ME.

I may be mistaken (and I'm guessing that your blog may not be the most representative place for a survey), but I think this might be one of those areas where there are definite gender-based differences. (Now as a woman who often fails to fulfill the gender stereotypes, I don't even want to begin to look at nature/nurture, absolutes vs. tendencies, or good/bad.) I'm just saying that as a *tendency*, I think men are more appreciative of our baser natures.

I think I would find the deodorant comment a little weird, even coming from your hot self (pun intended). On the other hand, "weird" NEQ repugnant in my world.

@Lilia,

Ha ha ha :)

@Morten,

Ah, very interesting - I had definitely not considered that angle at all. This could definitely be a valid concern.

@Smita,

Those are decent, too.

@Matt,

Ha ha ha ha, clearly!

@Sarah,

More than simply baser nature, I was trying to get to point that we are just all human; and, that we are all vulnerable. By providing quirkily animalistic insights, we make ourselves human and vulnerable.... which is good.

Lol. I'm having a hard time visualizing how I would react to such a comment. I think outwardly I would laugh. But that isn't necessarily a reflection of what I would be thinking after such a comment.

Women don't need to say anything go get attention from most men. Eye contact and a sweet smile would make it clear she would be receptive to an elevator conversation.

A really attractive woman can be very intimidating to many men. Giving the impression that they are approachable will be enough.

Good one. You know how to mess with ex-girlfriends, don't you. Now when she talks to a guy in an elevator, they will think she is a little off center.

Great post! I dig the words! As in most communication with the human animal the unspoken signals (intonation,emphasis,visuals) at the time when the statement was being made and after would add so much depth and context. So in agreement with Rodger's post a single word (or none) combined with the proper cues could be the Sexiest thing. "Hi....."

Speaking of visuals,
I felt I understood your point clearly on the initial read of the post. I would be curious if you furnished your ex with a copy, would she see your point more clearly now, that the "signals" of your conversion were removed?

Was she an 'ex' when she came to visit? If not, I maybe asking you (aka the current boyfriend, and now being told you're not the hottest guy ever) how to chat up the "hottest" guy ever was the reason she became an ex.

@Ben,

She didn't specify in which order the two of them got into the elevator. But if he inquired as to her floor to punch it in, she could just look at him all amazed and say "I'll go to whatever floor you're going to."

Simple superlative. You trump whatever I had planned. Might get a laugh too.

Wow, you're an amazing CF coder, but I don't know if you're that good at picking up guys.

That line wouldn't work on me. Though I might think it's cute the girl is trying to chat, it sounds a bit dorky.

I really think the best line would just be a genuine look of interest and "Hello, who are you/what's your name?"

I think I would also prefer a girl that didn't remind me of reality anyway.

P.S.
"Is that a smart phone on your pocket,
or are you just happy to see me?"

P.P.S Pardon any implied tone the "I don't know if you're that good at picking up guys." Was meant to be humorously ironic, and not like critical.

Interesting pickup line. I would interpret that to send a message that there's something in common and it's worth exploring to see what else is in common. And, that she's noticed that he takes care of himself, and thus, he may be likely to take care of the relationship. Also, this is to gauge what kind of sense of humor has. Is his the kind that you can live with? Or does the guy turn out to be a dour, joyless person? If so, and you love to laugh over silly things like a cute puppy chasing its tail, then you may not have a lot of shared experiences to laugh over with a dour, joyless person. One would probably not want to spend 30 years without that humor to spice it up.

Frankly, I'm puzzled as to why she didn't think it was sexy. Sure, it wasn't sexy to her, but guys and gals see things differently, and what may be sexy to a gal is probably not sexy to the guy. What the objective is, to capture the guy's attention, and to do that you need to know what catches his attention and that may mean saying things that just seem so ordinary to you as a woman but may be intriguing to him.

I guess, that says more as to the type of person your ex-girlfriend is, and probably why you're not in that type of relationship with her anymore - she didn't quite "get" you as a unique person and what makes you tick.

Okay . . . having read through the comments. Now, really . . . how many of you have been intrigued enough to learn more about the person after the first line being "Hello, my name is ___________"??? Often, it's a memorable line that makes you want to get to know the person more (but sometimes can backfire because it might make you out to be a weird person, but that's the risk you've gotta take).

@Lola,

While the comment may be instant attention grabing, not every girl can say with the same flare and effect. I can only think of some new age girl saying it with the right effect.

@Ben,

I think I understand the awkwardness of being in a elevator with people. To cut the awkward silence, saying something funny always lightens the air....:)

I think I agree with @Smita here in that it sounds a little weird, and I think it would take a special way of saying it to truly pull it off.

Great post, @Ben, by the way...not to say anything bad about the post. It's a good one, and it's good to see a little life and relationship post from you again. :-) It's a good post, because it's very thought-provoking in a subtle way.

I like @Matt's suggestion the best. Awesome. :-)

@WebManWalking - that could be good, in some situations, but I would be afraid the guy would take it the wrong way, redirect to the nearest police headquarters, and slap a restraining order on me for stalking. :-D

@Morten, valid concerns, although I would wager if he really is "hot" in an objective sense, and not just someone that she considers "the hottest", then he probably has more a problem of being stuck on himself than having a low self-esteem problem. Which goes back to my original comment I was going to make on the post.

@Ben, although as Sarah pointed out, you have the unique ability of thinking deep despite your hotness, most 'hottest guys' simply don't think deep, and therefore, would not know what to do about the comment and would not think about taking in the context you were meaning it as. It goes back, as well, to your intentions with this 'hot' guy, as well. If your intentions are to hook up momentarily without thought to the future, then @Matt's comment to the hottest guy would probably be the best one to go with. If you wanted to see where it would go and possibly look at having a future with this guy, then it would probably have to be something else. Don't ask me...I am probably the last person on earth to give relationship advice, especially on long term relationships. :-/

I like @Roger's suggestion, but I am going to add...'accidentally on purpose' bump into his arm (but you DEFINITELY have to make it look like an accident), and then say, "oh, I'm sorry...I am such a clutz!!!", giggling child-like (child-like, not childishly or like a hyena..sp?..., but fun) and you must say the statement in a come-hither voice, without sounding too seductive or like you are trying too hard to be sexy. You accomplish a couple of things this way, at least. First of all, you can gauge what kind of person he is. If he rolls his eyes and then diverts them over to the side and glares off into the distance like he is so ticked off and irate at you for this oversight, you know it's probably not the kind of person you want to spend even one more minute with, even long enough for a momentary hook-up, because you know this is how he handles even things like that. On the other hand, he could very well smile and say something like, "hey, that's ok...everybody does it every know and then" or something of that nature, you know that he takes things, at least that, pretty well...and has a little bit of a sense of humor, maybe. If he is really, really hot, then you may get the response above, and he may really be all into himself, but why bother even sweating over a guy like that?

Or, if you had a pen, you could drop it and bend over to pick it up...haha. But doing both would probably be overkill. I still like the bumping into better. I think it seems a little less obvious and intrusive. (oh...don't hit him like a line-backer or anything, just a simple bumping into would be fine).

I guess it would also depend on how you were dressed as well.

Anyway. One last comment/point I was going to make. Some people don't wear deodorant. Some people don't believe in it. I have an aunt who does not wear deodorant. (oh, and some women don't sweat either...by sweat I mean really sweat).

If the tables were turned, and a guy was making this comment to a girl who did not wear deodorant, she might be thinking and wondering what kind of harmful chemicals he was exposing his underarms and body to. I guess that also gets into a discussion about what kind of deodorant you wear, and to what you care about. Anyway, just something to think about. :-)

i only read some of the comments but with all due respect, i think it's much simpler than all that, it's just flirting. i think body language can be so much more powerful than anything to say. i think it would be so much sexier if a girl just looked straight at me through the reflection on the elevator door and slowly say "hot day, isn't it?"... much more engaging :)

Making a comment about ones self will probably not start a conversation. It has to be a question to get the other person to respond. How about the old Seinfeld method of feeling his material and asking "what's it made of?", well maybe not quite that direct.

It seems to me that there are several different questions being asked here. I like Matt's answer to the title of the post - it's difficult to top that unless you go for the super-direct approach, something like "I think the zipper on my skirt is broken, would you check it for me?" Different variations of that are possible, depending on where the elevator is. In a hotel or an apartment building, you could make a reference to your room/suite/apartment that you couldn't really say in an office building or a mall.

If you're looking for the best way to approach a guy in an elevator, I like Anna's suggestion of using touch. Something better than a pen is a folder ... just enough things in it that you can't easily gather them all up at once, but not so many that it litters the floor of the elevator. Just about any guy will stoop to help you pick them up, and you'll probably find yourselves at eye level and within touching distance, plus you'll have a reason to reach out and touch him (to thank him for helping you).

Then again, I may prefer that approach because it's the one I'd respond to best if a woman used it on me ... the thing about a verbal opening is that it requires a verbal response (well, maybe with a couple of very, very direct exceptions). A non-verbal opening gives the guy a chance to think of a good response while still being receptive to your approach.

Aside from touch, it really depends on the person. Some guys respond well to direct approaches, some respond better to subtle approaches.

Of course, all this is assuming that the guy is available in the first place!

Great comments! I think Matt has it for the sexiest comment. But only if you deliver the line with the sideways look, held a second or two too long before looking away with a smile. Follow it up with an off-hand comment about where you're going and why you're there so he can find you if he's interested.

The deodorant comment is a bit dorky and could help to humanize a woman who was just a bit "too hot" for her own good. But for a woman who looked at all dorky?...no go. It's sort of like a self-neg.

@Sharon, I like the action suggestions you added to Matt's comment. I typically like pairing action with words...I find they are often pretty effective.

Thanks @Dave for the extra props comments. :-) I always like to have some props handy for situations like these in case I might need them. The touch suggestion also served the purpose of finding out what kind of guns he was hiding under there (under his shirt...I was guessing he actually had on a shirt even though it was hot), since hard tissue (we hope) would be touching soft tissue (I felt chest was implied), while at the same time gesturing implicitly to your femininity...as in...yes, I do have some hard body parts, because I work out often, but there's a soft feminine side to me as well.

If we were going purely verbal, then what I would say is to let your look linger upon him for a few minutes after stepping into the elevator, and then casually remark something to the effect of, "I aplogize if I was staring, I didn't mean to be rude, but you just happen to look a lot like someone I know, and I wanted to make sure it wasn't". If he provides an opening, you would explain that if he was, of course, you would want to exchange pleasantries as not to be rude, but you had just wanted to be sure first.

This one works pretty well, usually. Actually, I wish I had said something like it yesterday after lunch when I really did see someone I knew and probably was staring a bit too hard at him (and he was staring back), instead of scurrying off like a mouse...well, probably more like a dog with my tail between my legs. But I don't ever think of these things when they actually occur, just usually afterwards. Then, all of the ideas come. What I should have said. lol

@Anna, it's always easier to realize what you should have said later. The vast majority of our time at work is spent going back over things that should have been done "correctly" in the first place ... of course socially it'll be the same! I find it's much easier to approach a woman I've seen before; by the third time, I might remember to say what I should have said the first time I saw her. :)

Something else to think about is that this is most definitely not advice that works both ways. Even if you're approaching a man in an elevator (or some other confined space), it's a good idea to leave him an opening to decline your advance gracefully. (That's good practice in general, but more important when physical exits aren't immediately possible.)

A man approaching a woman in an elevator, now ... we need to be a lot more careful and considerate. Maybe that attractive woman's actually waiting for us to say something, and maybe she's been hit on in that same elevator every single day she's been working here and would give anything to have one single quiet ride up to her floor.

I'd take credit for that realization, but it would be misplaced. I follow Ta-Nehisi Coates on the Atlantic, and his first post today was on that subject (a man approaching a woman in an awkward fashion on an elevator):

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2011/07/sometimes-its-ok-to-say-my-bad/241550/

@Dave -- I was just thinking that very same thing...about how it does not go both ways at all. And that includes all comments and all verbal interactions. If you notice from the comments on this page, and not necessarily that this is a good place to take surveys, but if you notice from the comments on this page, the females on here have had different reactions to the first comment than the males.

I agree that with women (if it is the man trying to make contact with the woman), physical contact might NOT be the way to go.

I have an anecdote. Hopefully, it will be a short one.

One day, I had gotten just gotten done with martial arts training. Blood was surging through my inflated muscles, and the techniques were flooding through my head as it often does after such training. I walked in to my parents' house, and my sister's fiance picked the wrong time to mess with me and rough house with me (as he often did). He came at me, and not even thinking, I just did a reversal on him, which ended with his head being rammed into the door (following a headlock), and he later went to the hospital to get checked for a concussion.

Needless to say, going physical with women is certainly not always the best way to go. She could be a super-vigilant (paranoid) type and think you were attacking her. And she might have training and you could end up getting into a physical squirmish you had never intended stemming from what was originally just going to be an innocent attempt at making a comment to break the ice and make contact with what some consider to be a highly alien life form...the opposite sex.

To Women: Not too forward, not too timid. I think a line followed by a, "Hi, my name is..." is the right amount of, "I want to get to know you."

Fine line between communicating, "I /want/ you," and, "I want to DOMINATE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

Obviously the latter makes us guys feel like we're not the man in the relationship. But I've had a lot of women in my life who may have been too "nice" too (I probably was too). I probably could have had several more relationships had one or both of us had been a bit more confident AND forward.

As for the deod comment: I think that could easily go sour, interpreted poorly.

I think the sexiest thing a woman could say to me would be, "Would you like to meet for Coffee?" Followed by, "My treat -- or stag -- whichever you prefer." :-)

Y'all don't know how to get a laugh.

First, it can't be canned. It has to be specific to the situation. In the situation described, she was overawed by how gorgeous the guy was. So there's your context.

Anything canned is "a line". It will lack punch because it doesn't connect to the situation. Use how amazed you are. Turn that very fact into the hello.

Leaving a nightclub once, I saw a girl in the back seat of a car that was leaving. She pointed right at me and said "Aw, why couldn't I have met someone like HIM???"

It was genuine. It was appropriate to the context. I laughed. And I didn't report her to the police as a stalker.

@Webmanwalking,

But she didn't get you, did she? or did she? I think that is the point. It depends on your intentions and what you want to get out of the situation.

I was attempting to cater the response to the actual situation described, not what I would do. I have no response for what I would do, because I don't find myself in these situations.

But the bottom line is, that lines do work. They may be "lines", but they still work. I should know. There was a time when I used them, and they did work. I just don't care for that kind of thing anymore, so I just don't bother with them anymore.

It would be nearly impossible to say exactly what I would do in this situation since I don't get in situations like this anymore at all. The reason is that I don't care particularly to be involved with anyone. I like being alone. I like my alone time. If the perfect guy was dropped in my lap right now, sure...I would give it a chance. But I'm not out there searching for it, and I am not out there chasing it. I just grew tired of that whole scene. And I learned to enjoy and appreciate my alone time much more than I ever enjoyed the company of another person (particularly the opposite sex).

Yes, I am jaded. Yes, I have had bad relationshis. (I've had good ones, too, not just the bad). But that's not really why I'm no really into searching for it.

I just feel like when it's right, it will come to you, and when it's not, searching for it will only bring you more hassle than it is worth.

Plus, I am the kind of traditional girl, so I do like guys to make the first move.

And besides, another big reason I would never find myself in this situation is because I wouldn't have the same response to stepping into an elevator with a guy who was so gorgeous and hot. When I see a guy who is so hot and so gorgeous, I am usually instantly turned off by him. I can't help but think about how stuck on himself and arrogant he must be, and that is the biggest isntant turn-off. If some drop-dead gorgeous guy who was the hottest guy in the world ever came up to me and suprised me, I would be receptive to it. I would love it. I would think it was awesome. But I dono't expect it any time soon. If I were to get involved with someone, I would just prefer your every day guy who hasa great personality, a great sense of humor, and a whole lot more going for him than just his looks.

IMHO

Ben, it seems to be too cool instead of sexy, I guess so and I am sure that most of the girls will feel awkward saying so.

@Jon,

Ha ha, it's the perfect plan!

@Wil,

She was an Ex at the time :D - that would be quite awkward otherwise. Not that I haven't done awkward things in my life. Ha ha. (And, sorry about editing - loads of people ask for that. I never quite know how to build that). I should put some time into thinking about it.

@Roger, @Rick,

Yeah, a word or two would probably be enough to garner interest.

@WebManWalking,

Ha ha, I like it :)

@Tim,

Don't worry - the humor was not lost on me.... come on, you just gotta give me a chance - I can do this!! :P

I can understand not wanting to think about reality, but I think there's something very powerful about it. I remember, a few years ago, I was working out a New York Sports Club with my buddy; there was a woman across the room working out and her shirt was just disgusting. Clearly it was her "workout" shirt... and washing was optional.

Now, granted, my first impression of said dirty girl was perhaps one of question; but then I was like, dang - this woman probably hits the weights hard and consistently. The underarm discoloration became a badge or honor - a payment of dues, if you will. I didn't actually find her all that attractive, and this might sound *totally* crazy, but the nastiness of her shirt was actually really attractive.

@Lola,

Exactly, a few words can garner interesting, but I wanted to break barriers with a different angle.

@Anna,

Ha ha - I am wicked jealous of people who don't wear deodorant! Unfortunately, I produce a massive amount of body heat. I run hot like all the time, like some over-clocked CPU :P Deodorant is definitely my friend.

I thought I would mix it up with a few non-techie posts - it's been a while, especially since I didn't really get to talk about this semester's Philosophy class.

@Ben L,

That's a good point - questions are definitely super effective way of engaging another person. 1000% agreed. ... Oh, and that Seinfeld episode is a classic. That was such a great show in general. ... and on totally unrelated news, I just learned that they were releasing another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Now, I just need to find out how to get a hold of it.

@Dave,

Ha ha - I'm picturing the folder of things :)

@Sharon,

Hmm, I hadn't taken into account the type of woman (physically). I'm having trouble thinking about it. I think it basically comes down to attraction. If you were attracted to the person, it wouldn't be perceived as negative; if you were NOT attracted to the person, I think you are probably right - it would seem like some sort of self-deprecation in an odd way. Of course, if you're not attracted to the person in the first place (and vice-versa), I suppose it would be moot.

@Randall,

It's funny you bring up Coffee. This really speaks to how different we all are (and how we react to things).... and probably to my special brand of insecurities. So, I don't drink coffee or alcohol. Because of this, if someone ever says, "Let's get a drink sometime," it always makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. It's like, now I have to figure out how to tell people that I don't actually drink .... or having any interest in going to a bar... and that we should just get some dinner.

.... clearly, I'm over thinking that. I know this. Just using it as an example of how we all (can) react in such different ways. It seemed very apropos for the discussion at large.

@Ben, the coffee comment was just a line of sorts too. I go to Starbucks and order their "cream" drinks (vanilla, strawberries, or double-chocolate if I recall correctly). Never coffee.

Maybe you could change it up with, "Dessert," instead. :-D Or, "cupcake" or, "pastry."

...I got it! SMOOTHIE!

@Ben...glad you don't judge those who are able to not wear deodorant and choose not to do so. Don't get me wrong, I am all for deodorant if you need it! I would much rather have someone wear it than not if they had a strong bo, and I would much rather someone err on the side of caution if there was any question as to whether they needed it or not. As for me, I choose to wear it when I need it, but I am also very careful to choose the types of deodorant that don't have harmful chemicals that are going to have long-term detrimental effects to my brain. Beauty can only last so long. :-D

Because of this, unfortunately, I am often left with the choice of wearing a man's deodorant. It's not so bad...at least I can smell like a man w/o having to rub up on one. :-D haha. I am kind of joking there, but in all seriousness, men's deodorant does smell really good, and to my nose, male deodorant smells better than female deodorant. Also, unfortunately, I am allergic to a lot of "fragrances", so a lot of those flowery-women type of deodorants make me sneeze and have an allergic reaction to them. In addition to me being allergic to a lot of female deodorants, they are the ones that have the harmful chemicals, more so than the male deodorant. I was able to find male deodorant that did not, but no such luck with the female stuff. Maybe that's society's way of saying we don't need smart women running around. :-D But I did find some stuff that is probably "neutral" without the harmful chemicals. It has a nice, clean smell without having the flowery smell to it. Quite frankly, some of the female deodorant has a smell that has been described by some as a cheap saturday night hooker smell. Not that I know from personal experience, but that is what I have heard.

And about the physicality, perhaps you didn't think of the physical beauty of a woman in this situation, because the situation YOU were presented with involved an ex, which I can guess you found attractive and probably had beauty you thought a lot of. It wasn't framed for you in the perspective of a woman who didn't hold such beauty.

@the coffee comment...I rarely drink coffee. But I won't say "never". I woudn't feel awkward, though, explaining it to someone, but I can see how some may. & @Randall...a lot of girls I know are extremely self-conscious about their weight. Most of them are on diets. If you brought up dessert, it may make her feel awkward. She may be on a diet, but she may be very self-conscious about it, and feel awkward explaining this to you. Or you could end up causing her to blow her diet. Or it really can make a girl feel fat, even if you just mention dessert. Some of them would probably feel just as awkward explaining the diet thing as @Ben would explaining the coffee and/or drinking thing.

Haha, totally not sexy - good job reminder her why she's your EX! If a woman were to say that to me, it would immediately make me think about her armpits, and if they're hairy or not, and if she typically has an odor issue.

I think I just lost my appetite :-/

@JGarrido,

a friend of mine said I had sexy armpits. So I guess it is a part of the body that could be perceived as sexy by some people. Of course, this friend was a female, not a male. :-/

@Randall,

Going on a date and having just dessert - I like it! :)

@Anna,

I stopped using antiperspirants because they are apparently pretty bad for you. Now, I go strictly deodorant. Plus, stopping me from sweating is quite an undertaking - I produce heat like it's my job :) But, I do get irritated by many deodorants. Ironically, the deodorant that actually burns my skill is Tom's natural deodorant.... I guess "natural" failed me in this case.

@JGarrido,

Ha ha :)

@Ben,

Have you tried Cowboy Natural Deodrant? You can get it in whole foods.

For work out sessions Mitchum is also pretty good.

@Anna,

There are also body sprays and body mists and organic fragrance oil for the ones who don't like perfume/deodrant. I usually get lost around those aisles at whole foods...;) After shower body lotion, moisturizer, deodrant, perfume/roll-on fragrance oil are a must. I guess people who don't need these are either very lucky or filthy... lol...:)

@Smita: thanks! I will check some of those out. I do love Earth Fare...do ya'll have an Earth Fare? Actually, the Cowboy Natural Deodorant sounds really intriguing to me. :-D I love male deods.

@Ben...is Men's Sport a deod, antiperspirant or do you know? And then again, I may just be making that name up. But if it's the one I tried, I seem to remember it not being bad for you. And I love the smell of the Ocean Surf one. It has a nice clean smell, which is something I opt for over the flowery smells. I also like a lavendar smell (although I guess that is kind of a flower) over the more pretty, feminine smells...like the ones that smell like mixed drinks.

Besides the men's sport (or man's sport, or whatever that deod is that I have been known to use), I also use something called Alba deodorant...it's a natural deod also, that my uncle gave me...he's really big into the organic thing. I know that Earth Fare does carry the Alba brand, but not sure if they carry that deodorant. I found it to be very hard to find. But they have a delightful lavendar one that I find rather pleasing. And hey, the did a study w/ males that concluded that the smell of lavendar mixed with certain other smells increased the blood flow in men to that region down there by 40%. Not that you would want to be shooting for that (necessarily), but an interesting fact, nonetheless.

Alba Deod, btw...is unisex, I believe. I don't think it is considered either a male deod or a female deod. I got it from my uncle, so if anything, it would probably be a male deod, but I think it is unisex.

@Anna,

I love all Alba products. There are ranges of these in whole foods. We have something called Whole Earth by us. But I pretty much go to whole foods on weekly basis, sometimes twice a week. Trader Joes also carry some cool organic stuffs also. I have used the alba lavender deo before. Yea it's unisex I think. I don't like men's deo for me. Too strong. Currently I use Mitchum powder, it's not organic but mild and nice. I think the other type that you don't like is "fruity" ones...:) I hate those.

In perfume I use Stella by Tocca available at anthropologie. It's mild and perfect for summer.

@Anna,

I'm not sure about the names of other deodorants. I've been using Old Spice for like the last 4 years, so I kind of lost touch with all the others. I'll check out the stuff at Wholefoods though; I'll see how it stands up to the "sniff test." Maybe I'll bring a lady friend with me to get a female's perspective.

As for blood flow, I'm not a big "scent" person. I think I tend to express myself with my mouth a lot and anything scented ends up having an odd taste, which can be off putting.

@Ben, the idea to bring a lady friend is good. I could see that being useful.

Come to think of it, now that you mention it, I once heard that Matthew McCaunehey (sp?) has an almost magical experience when tasting (that's the best word to describe it here...I think there is a more accurate word for it, but I don't think this is the appropriate place to print that word or any other more accurate words). I have a very similar sensual experience when tasting. Sour tastes are the ones that do it for me...I think my sour and sweet tastebuds got mixed up during my development. I absolutely love the tastes of lemons and Granny Smith apples. I get a real rush out of eating them. I like sweet tastes, too, but the sour ones are the ones that really do it for me. Lucky for me, I can cook, and some of my friends have atested to having similar experiences while eating some of the things I have prepared. I can have my mouth start to water from just thinking about lemons and/or Granny Smith apples.

I won't pretend to be an angel and claim that I never eat candy, candy bars, cakes, or sweet things like that, and I do indulge in these things fairly regularly (although I try to moderate), but they just don't do for me what sour tastes do.

I'll tell you one nasty taste, that can really put me off. That is the taste of a man after he has been drinking. YUCK! Alchy comes thru his pores, and it is one of the nastiest tastes, especially when mixed with his other biochemicals. Another one is the taste of cologne. I was once involved with someone and didn't know they wore cologne, and took a taste and was horrified when the nasty taste of cologne was in my mouth. YUCK. That is one of the worst tastes (also). The third one that really puts me off is the aftertaste of an ashetray you get in your mouth when you kiss someone who has been smoking, unbeknownst to you. UGH.

Ok...now that I have put myself with descriptions of horrifying tastes, I'll get back to my ColdFusion. :-)

@Lola,

I know! I LOVE the taste of lemon. I try to moderate because of teeth enamel, but it is a great astringent and cleanser. For everything, including your blood! It also helps your singing voice. :-) One of the many benefits. I also don't think it's quite as bad to the enamel on your teeth as pineapple. But I love pineapple too...what a yummy combination of both a whole lot of sweet, and perhaps a little sour, too, if you get it at the right time! :-)

"I'm glad WE wore deoderant today". FTFY.

The deoderant approach may be a little too subtle. One day I was in a store shopping with a friend, but my mind was elsewhere; I was stressed about a bunch of other stuff. A pretty sales clerk came up to me as we were walking in the door, smiled, and asked in a playful kind of way: "See anything that catches your eye?".

I totally missed the flirt. My answer? "Not yet." (Yeah, that's what I said). Her expression went blank and she just walked away. My friend turned to me and said: "You're an idiot."

I'll never let THAT happen again!